Jeff made me a really rad mix tape- which i am currently listening to. It reminded me of the Promise Rings "make me a mix tape".
I need to fucking do something. Im going to sit here and bitch about how i need to pick up a new hobby and then shower, and go on a mission to find a life. I love playing guitar, but im still struggling to find creative motivation. I try to play every day but my songs bore the fuck out of me, and im at a complete loss of figuring new shit out. I dont know what my problem is, but its truly driving me insane.
On a whole other note, my good friend Josee is moving back to ontario from alberta, Im insanely excited about her arrival as i'll get to see her in two weeks (and its been well over a year!) I have nothing but amazing memories with Josee, and i cant wait to sit with her and see her lovely smile.
Jo & I about 2004?
That picture was taken at a st.patricks day party, right before Jade & I went to BC for a few weeks. We made this giant sign that said "you honk, we drink", and hung out in the snow fort in the front yard drinking all day, until the cops came. They were rad about it though. All in all, the cops in NB have always been pretty decent, to my recollection.
As gross as this sounds, my hands smell like dirty dish rag, as i was cleaning upstairs before work was over.....i need to shower.
The above photo was taken at my favorite bar in Ottawa, the Dominion. I ended up there by myself the other night because my budd Brandon asked me to come check out some bands with him the neighboring bar, Zaphods. Me, being really excited to hang out with Brandon totally took him up on the hangout invite and waited downtown for him but he never showed. I ended up drinking about 4 double rye&cokes while venturing inbetween the Dom & Zaphods. Watched a band called The Waking Eyes, they were alright....
not gonna lie, i wanted in the guitar players pants....he continuously switched through random instruments through the songs, and it was swell to watch. hah. Anyhow, i went to make my way home to try and get a decents night sleep, but i ended up taking the wrong bus and ended up at the westend of Ottawa, so far from my home. I didnt get home till 12:30 or so. What a lame night.
On saturday (more known as valentines day) I went to a house show/party that Jeff had put together with some of his friends. I took the above photo because i found it kind of hilarious. People kept nailing shit to the walls. I was pretty high and not drinking, so i was pretty quiet and in my own world the whole time. I got into this huge thought about how i havent hung around gutter/crusty punks in so long, that i really just feel out of place. If i was drunk, i wouldnt give a shit, but the fact i was high the whole time made me dwell. It got worse when some guy asked me about the drawn on knuckle tattoo that said "fuck love". First he asked if it was real, i laughed and said "no...". Then he said "Yeah, i didnt think so because you really dont look like someone who would do that, you just kind of stand out here & dont look like you fit in...how old are you?". He really elaborated on the fact that i didnt have some punk uniform on. That i wasn't showing off tattoo's or looking like a patch whore. Me being me, i replied with a laugh and a slight rant "fuck that shit, im not wearing a leather jacket, which obviously means im more punk than anyone here." Maybe next time i wont shower, or wear a Bright Eyes hoodie. Meh
To be honest, this type of thing has happened a lot while ive been in Ottawa. I dont fit in anywhere. Its a really strange way to feel considering I've always been surrounded by tons of friends and people i related to. I've never felt like i dont belong, but im realizing it really comes down to who you surround yourself with. I want to meet exciting people with amazing stories. I dont what this says about me as a person, but i almost feel like everything ive done thus far in life is so incredible and so amazing, that i find it hard to find people to relate to. I feel like ive been through so much amazing shit (good & bad) that im almost searching for people on the same "level" as me, or maybe i should say "in the same world as me" because using the word "level" makes me sound like i think im better, and maybe I do think that and i dont realize it......i hope thats not who i've become.
So far, this bird has been more exciting than most folk (and we dont ever get passed "hello")
Maybe i can walk off such crazy thoughts.
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