Im dramatic. So what?

http://exclaim.ca/musicreviews/generalreview.aspx?csid1=131&csid2=851&fid1=36530

KFF finally got a review in Exclaim! It really starts out as if its a bad review, but i think it picks up & serves justice for the new KFF album. I've been awaiting the day i could pick up an exclaim and see KFF's name in it....and not only when they are playing a show at some well known pub. I couldnt read the article right away because i hyper-ventilated and cried a bunch. Its a pretty well known fact that im a fucking emotional wreck when it comes to anything KFF now, and its so fucking silly of me to act and think the way i do, but i cant help but be insanely sad, yet insanely proud and continuously intrigued by them and how far they've come.


I cant get over how much has changed in one fucking year. 12 months. Last year at this time i went completely insane, and basically ran away from the new life i tried to create in vancouver. On febuary 23rd last year I had made the decision to drop my life & play lead guitar for a 5 week tour of eastern canada for KFF. It would be my second tour with them- out of shitty circumstances-i had to bust ass to learn the new songs for this tour. I keep saying it was the best thing i've ever done in life, but it seriously ruined my friendship with them. Its like falling in love with your best friend.....then you end up fucking and realize it wasnt all that great. After the drama subsides, you realize you lost your best friend(s).You then go on pretending you're totally okay with that.

"Sometimes I can't help but feel the stars are laughing at me. I must have made that fucking wish every night for the past year.There's a place on the way up to princess park that I'd like to go but I can't go alone. Someimes I can't help but feel that time has left without me. I thought that when you saved someone's life they'd be around forever. I just want you to know that I'm still around and even if you hate me I'm still glad I got to know you.---D.B.S"





photo taken by Kathy Roussel

time & change

Another monday, another work week, another month coming to an end. Fuck time flies. I have no idea where my weekend went, but i know i slept a lot. I know the week just started, but i cant wait for it to be over. Im catching the ol' greyhound to North Bay thursday evening. I cant even contain my excitement, i know north bay sounds lame......but its pretty rad when your just a visitor instead of a permanent resident. I have a lot to accomplish in such a short visit too!

It'd be rad if i could squeeze in a hike through duschaney falls with the Rhondas...



or a hang out with these 3 fuckers


I'll most likely eat pizza with the Hecklers at some point, which will be rad...


Anyways....last week i hit up the Sens vs Canucks game with Tomi. Coincidently we both hit up some straight whiskey before meeting up so by game time we were feeling swell. It was rad hanging out with Tomi outside of a show, or bar, or a party even. I dont think we've ever just hung out without a big crowd. He had an idea to make a "who cares?" sign as hes a Bruins fan, and i just like hockey in general. After the game i went back to hang with Tomi & his lady Blaire at their house. Lots of laughs were had, especially with my theory the connections between Mad Cow disease & Alzheimers....."im not a scientist or anything, but...."

Canucks kicked the Sens' asses. (this wasnt the final score)



Friday i spent hanging out with Miss Verch. I was really tired from being hung over and working, so we caught up on life and passed out. I have the best sleeps at stephs house, but the fact that she has leopard print sheets made my sleep pretty amazing. Saturday my friend Dany Laj was playing at the Babylon. I dont even know when i saw Dany last & but im sure it involved a show & some alcohol.


This ottawa band called The Felines played after Dany's set. I've seen them play about 3-4 times, and i liked it the first time. They play this riot girl styled surf rock....think Red Aunts meets Heavens to Betsy. I dig it because its something i would have liked to listen to when i was 16. They seem to always bring in a fairly nice group of folk, and I can really learn to appreciate any female musician (almost) but the Felines dont do much for me. I think my opinion on female musicians & full female bands is pretty asshole-ish. I think both Cass Ettes & ThisGirlFights! were liked for our creativeness and how we played our music as opposed to how we dressed and looked while we played our music. I dont like the music the Felines make, but they sure do look hot while playing it.



I hung out with these jerks all night....


We left babylon & headed to a benefit show called Rock Lottery @ Mavericks. I think it was the second year this has been put together. A bunch of Ottawa bands mix together to create ne bands for an evening. I only saw two of the one night stand bands play, it was fairly rad though. The song where this guy was rockin' the tambourine was my favorite.....


I think any band that uses a tambourine is in my good books.

Anyhow, these fuckin ducks havent flown south for the winter and hang out near the river & walking trails by my house.....new friends?

Make me a mix tape....

"You remind me that I'm never going to be twenty-two listening to the alarm waking up south of north avenue my skin is going to wonder what I'm doing now.So write me a letter,tell me where you are how to get thereand how long that it takes to tape me some songs. Make me a mixtape something old and something new something I said or that we did that reminds me of you make me a mixtape that makes me yours. Don't leave out Husker Du. Put something on that The Cars did in 1982. It makes me yours."

Jeff made me a really rad mix tape- which i am currently listening to. It reminded me of the Promise Rings "make me a mix tape".

I need to fucking do something. Im going to sit here and bitch about how i need to pick up a new hobby and then shower, and go on a mission to find a life. I love playing guitar, but im still struggling to find creative motivation. I try to play every day but my songs bore the fuck out of me, and im at a complete loss of figuring new shit out. I dont know what my problem is, but its truly driving me insane.

On a whole other note, my good friend Josee is moving back to ontario from alberta, Im insanely excited about her arrival as i'll get to see her in two weeks (and its been well over a year!) I have nothing but amazing memories with Josee, and i cant wait to sit with her and see her lovely smile.

Jo & I about 2004?


That picture was taken at a st.patricks day party, right before Jade & I went to BC for a few weeks. We made this giant sign that said "you honk, we drink", and hung out in the snow fort in the front yard drinking all day, until the cops came. They were rad about it though. All in all, the cops in NB have always been pretty decent, to my recollection.

As gross as this sounds, my hands smell like dirty dish rag, as i was cleaning upstairs before work was over.....i need to shower.


The above photo was taken at my favorite bar in Ottawa, the Dominion. I ended up there by myself the other night because my budd Brandon asked me to come check out some bands with him the neighboring bar, Zaphods. Me, being really excited to hang out with Brandon totally took him up on the hangout invite and waited downtown for him but he never showed. I ended up drinking about 4 double rye&cokes while venturing inbetween the Dom & Zaphods. Watched a band called The Waking Eyes, they were alright....

not gonna lie, i wanted in the guitar players pants....he continuously switched through random instruments through the songs, and it was swell to watch. hah. Anyhow, i went to make my way home to try and get a decents night sleep, but i ended up taking the wrong bus and ended up at the westend of Ottawa, so far from my home. I didnt get home till 12:30 or so. What a lame night.


On saturday (more known as valentines day) I went to a house show/party that Jeff had put together with some of his friends. I took the above photo because i found it kind of hilarious. People kept nailing shit to the walls. I was pretty high and not drinking, so i was pretty quiet and in my own world the whole time. I got into this huge thought about how i havent hung around gutter/crusty punks in so long, that i really just feel out of place. If i was drunk, i wouldnt give a shit, but the fact i was high the whole time made me dwell. It got worse when some guy asked me about the drawn on knuckle tattoo that said "fuck love". First he asked if it was real, i laughed and said "no...". Then he said "Yeah, i didnt think so because you really dont look like someone who would do that, you just kind of stand out here & dont look like you fit in...how old are you?". He really elaborated on the fact that i didnt have some punk uniform on. That i wasn't showing off tattoo's or looking like a patch whore. Me being me, i replied with a laugh and a slight rant "fuck that shit, im not wearing a leather jacket, which obviously means im more punk than anyone here." Maybe next time i wont shower, or wear a Bright Eyes hoodie. Meh

To be honest, this type of thing has happened a lot while ive been in Ottawa. I dont fit in anywhere. Its a really strange way to feel considering I've always been surrounded by tons of friends and people i related to. I've never felt like i dont belong, but im realizing it really comes down to who you surround yourself with. I want to meet exciting people with amazing stories. I dont what this says about me as a person, but i almost feel like everything ive done thus far in life is so incredible and so amazing, that i find it hard to find people to relate to. I feel like ive been through so much amazing shit (good & bad) that im almost searching for people on the same "level" as me, or maybe i should say "in the same world as me" because using the word "level" makes me sound like i think im better, and maybe I do think that and i dont realize it......i hope thats not who i've become.


So far, this bird has been more exciting than most folk (and we dont ever get passed "hello")


Maybe i can walk off such crazy thoughts.

its been 60's & 70's swing since 8am....

...and im actually kind of enjoying it, a lot. So, Elton John & Billy Joel are playing Ottawa...its all the rage i guess, and I too, really want to go.....but then my boss told me its $250 a ticket. Pshhh, fuck that shit. The only concert i would pay that much to see would have to be some crazy festival with ALL my favorite bands-maybe minus the ones that are broken up. Im going to invest in some of their records sometime soon, and have a concert of my own in my bedroom, with a bottle of wine.

Ive been thinking lately that i really fucking miss cooking. I dont get to cook too often living here because Tim (my boss/employer) generally cooks supper, and i just do breakfats/lunch with the kids...which is fuck all. Im making this killer tofu stirfry on friday, and i think im going to ask them of i can cook a few times a week.... K's on a crazy diet due to a very strange disease, so it'll be interesting to try and find good recipes to suit it! Fleetwood mac is on the radio now...rad.



Winton really likes to line things up and then count them & sing random songs. I love kids because of how much they use there imagination. I remember as a kid i had a really crazy imagination......i was always pretending to be someone else in a different world. That makes sense though considering.

Ella and I get a long really well these days, hah. In the beginning she definitely gave me a lot of challenges, and it was Winton who attached himself to me from the get go. Now he's definitely more deviant than Ella. These kids are great because they sing & dance constantly, especially Winton. When we go for walks he goes at his own pace and sings, sometimes making up random songs. He's taken a major liking to my guitars, and asks every day to play them. I think K. is going to buy them ukeleles, which is pretty badass. I've asked K. to buy them converse all-stars for their summer shoes in red & pink, hah! I hope it happens!

So Ella does this thing where she gives people, what we call "the eye", if anything its a pretty hilarious thing to have a kid do. She's incredibly shy around new people, and will even refuse to look at them, but she will give them "the eye" if you ask her to, and it looks like this....


This week is the Planet Smashers show, and valentines day weekend, i got accustomed to throwing "fuck love"pot luck parties in the past for valentines day. They were pretty fuckin fun. The first time we did this it was at Skidrow & we made felt hearts people could wear, then we went around ripping them off yelling "fuck love!". When this weekends over im going to listen to "Valentines day is over" by Kind of like Spitting.....yup.

who will take care of you?

Sunday at 4:30pm in the afternoon and im pretty sure i left my bed twice. Its been a long fucking weekend, and totally fun. Friday my boss bought me a case of moosehead randomly because he rules, I went over to Jeff's then we made our way down to mavericks to catch the KFF show. We got there late, and walked in as they were walking off stage. Good thing i didnt have to pay, cus i really didnt care for the other bands playing ;) So i drank about 5 beers pretty quickly and we headed out to the RoughSea's house for another show/party. On the way we stopped at Winterlude to check out the ice sculptures. I've never been to winterlude, so it was pretty swell to see...especially being semi buzzed from beer. I took some photos, and jeff bought us beavertails (these rad ass pastry, mmm) and then continued on our journey.

run in with brandon (kff) and Cam (assemble me) at Mavericks!


Peter and I always take swell photos...


winterlude!


some crazy sculpture


The roughsea show/house gathering was pretty fucking swell. We walked in right as the roughsea were playing. I only knew 3 of there songs at that point, and was able to catch all 3! I have videos for two of them, which is rad. The house was full of super friendly folk and hilarious people. Once the party cleared out, there was 10 or more of us left and so we did the only thing a group our size could do and had a dance party!!!!! I love dance parties for the mere reason that no one gives a shit what you do. We were all incredibly drunk and some guy was jumping off the counter at everyone, and eating mustard with his fingers....pretty swell night all round.

roughsea house


the roughsea!


Im really too tired and lazy to continue writing about my weekend in detail. We went to go see some bands play at another house show last night, the Wellits and Dig It Up, two rad ass bands. I hope Cass Ettes can hook up with the Wellits in montreal this summer, thatd be swell!

fuck, i should shower.
<3

i love chelsea handler. i suggest everyone youtube "chelsea lately" for a whole evening! heh.

I realized i have a ton of pictures of rooms ive "lived in" over the last few years, kinda interesting i think. I guess no matter how much i move, somethings never change....

skidrow bedroom...and living room...lol


245 mattawa st.


main st. @ the strawberry patch.



main st. under the vortex.


KFF house



my new room, which is very boring compared to the rest....but not for long, i cant stand bare walls.


I wish i had photos of my room at the void...or my room at couches....orrrr my non existant room at the Hobbit Hole.....my room in vancity was rad too....sooo many rooms, but my favorites were the main st. rooms. :)

I need to go get my license this month or i will regret it for the rest of my life. This is on my "to do" list, as well as going to the gym & buying an amp for my turntable.

I seriously love these kids.




and heres a photo that just makes me happy....another drunken monday at the beach in spring!


PS- im going to north bay in 3 weeks, and im so fucking excited to see everyone!!!!! Its the last reject show, and though im sad they broke up, im happy i can spend the night with them. They are all wonderful people & friends. Im also getting my tattoo's finished by Shelly, well providing i can sit through it. I should get her to re-do my back peice but i dont have the balls to go through that pain again. I know i wont have enough time to see everyone, and thats making me sad :( Im going to try and make a point to play a game of chess with my brother though! Hopefully i dont suck ass about it.

lifes so rad.

You cant find this colour red.....

Jade introduced me to this band called "the matadors of shame", they're pretty fracking incredible. Im really just obsessed with the songs "the west" and "the east", but really all their songs are pretty badass. Too bad they broke up :(

this is the only photo that turned out from the Seasick basement show....


I tried resizing my photos, so i hope they actually fit on the blog page now....ughh. I know nothing about the digital world of photography, its all so new to me. I miss the days where i spent endless hours in a darkroom developing photos and taking awesome black & white pictures with my oldschool 35mm. I just bought a new film camera, and its pretty fucking amazing. Its expensive though. Its nice to compare the film photos to the digital.

I love these two people more than anything, this photo makes me smile like no ones business


So i need to invest in an amp and speakers for my record player. I bought some pretty amazing records over the weekend....david bowie's "lets dance" and Stevie Ray Vaughns "double trouble", as well as Braid & the Postal Service. My record collection is getting to be pretty epic. If i do say so myself.....this is my favorite record....by Naked Aggression, im amazed i found this!



"well here i am, here i am....sitting on a fence, trying to make a dollar outta 15 cents!!!!!!!!!"

Fuck, february reminds me of so many things....."fuck love" parties at Skidrow, crazy anti-valentines day shows, lots of my friends birthdays....and lets not forget the time i hooked up with that 19 year old on valentines day....UGHH? (never again!)....god even thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I guess no matter what age, guys are all fuckwads.....ill wait for a decent one to come around though.



I feel like im waiting for something. I cant wait for the week to be over, but what for? I have nothing exciting going on in life.....i need a band. I keep talking about it, but im so fucking insecure about my guitar playing, or lack of guitar playing.....which ever.... i need to get over my shit. I think im going to throw together a show, here in ottawa....just so i can fucking play one. I dont even care if i need to pay for everything myself.....not playing any shows for 10 months is pretty fucked up...considering i've been playing music & shows non stop for about 5 years now. Meh....im rambling.

friends forever?!? Its a good idea!

*Everything i love in the whole world is here with me, in my head, in my mind at all times.*

I figured i'd start a blog away from my livejournal.....as ive had LJ for 10 years now. HA! So to start, im going to brag about how amazing my life is right now. Im glad 2008 is over, as it was a cursed year from the get go. 2009 has already been incredible, and im finally starting to feel that my move to ottawa wasnt a huge mistake like every other move i've ever made. I wont stay here though. I have this amazing job as a "nanny" (kinda weird for my lifestyle, but it works!) and it'll be over and done with in 3 years or so. Jennii and I have already made plans to travel Europe after we're done getting our shit together. I feel like maybe this time Cass Ettes have a standing chance agains the world. Before we wanted too much, too fast. We made careless decisions based on how badly we wanted out goals. I wont rush into anything that fast again.

Cass Ettes @ the KFF cd release in 2007


house show in 2007


last cass ette jam november 07


Its hard thinking about the last year that passed. The fact that Cass Ettes broke up again really broke my heart. I cant express how happy i am about our reunion tour we are planning. I think the break we had was well needed. I know our comeback is going to be strong as fuck and amazing. We're going to hit Ottawa, montreal, north bay, sudbury, toronto and kirkland lake this august for a "mini tour" then Rawdog Jennii is going to continue touring solo through the states! Im hoping eventually we can actually record an album, something thats been in the works for....5 years now???? fuck, that sounds kinda crazy when i think about it. I really want to do the ontario shows with this band from Ottawa www.myspace.com/theroughsea fuck they are so amazing.

I just moved out of the KillingForFriday house. The whole situation is kind of strange and truly fucked up, but i feel normal again now that im gone. I hope they are happier too. I miss having those guys as friends. I sometimes think playing those tours with them was a grand mistake, but it was probably one of the best things i've ever done in my whole life.

montreal avec KFF


montreal again


Peggys Cove, Nova Scotia with Battlecreek


Sometimes when i listen to Battlecreek i can almost cry. If im drunk, then its a sure bet i'll shed a tear. I fell in love with those guys on tour. On the way home, i travelled in the BC van and it broke down about an hour away from home. We were all so tired, stressed, depressed and totally fucking worn out. Seth sat there strumming "sleep" on the classical guitar and it was the best moment of the whole tour. The lyrics to the song "sleep" are pretty epic, and by far my favorite Battlecreek song. Listen to it here www.myspace.com/battlecreekmusic I cant wait to hang out with these guys again, though it'll be a long time coming.

Anyhow, my time in Ottawa has been well spent. I feel the full effects of growing up and growing old finally. Working a steady job, is so not like me.....but it feels pretty decent. My job rules, and my bosses rule even more. I spend a lot of time with Steph V. We didnt know eachother too well when we lived in north bay, but now she's probably one of my closet friends and favorite people. She my show-going lady friend. Haha. Jade & Couch just visited, and we all went to see streetlight Manifesto. I didnt take any photos cus i was pretty sick that night still and didnt want to get ruined in the mosh pit just for some silly photo. Ive been able to see Julie Doiron, Ladyhawk, Attack In Black, Constantines....as well as hit up some swell house shows. My favorite house show thus far was the Creeps & the Sedatives which was this past weekend. So fucking amazing. Such a good crowd and good environment. I was definately a happy lady that night. It was also meant to be my "date night" with Ska Jeff, inwhich.....it was a pretty rockin' date i think. Hah.

House show in december with Couch & Dawna


The Creeps


The Sedatives


My playlist contains the Decemberists, Katie Caron, Death Cab for Cutie, Sainte Catherines and Blind Melon. Weird i know, its basically my "moving out" playlist.